I never claimed to keep a regular blogging schedule, but almost two weeks since my last post is a bit long for me. I’m still around and as I’ve made mention to before some of my inspiring material has diminished since being on the dispatch desk. In a way though my absence has been due to writers block but also some personal angst. I have hit my final year of my twenties and subconsciously it effected me, though I don’t truly know why. I can hear the chuckles now from those guys already in their thirties and it is much warranted. I don’t think I’m experiencing a midlife crisis already, at least I hope not. I rather have been looking at my life and going OK now what?
I have already done way more than I ever had expected or dreamed of in my twenties. Marriage, owning a house, having a child, stepped foot on 6 foreign soils, career advancement, began to understand myself and the list goes on. Not to bad from a small town kid working a field that “can’t sustain a living”. I have been very fortunate, more so than most and I am thankful of it. The prospect of ending this decade of my life with the expectations of out doing it in the next ten years though is a reach I think. And that fact, at its core, is what I’ve struggled with the past few weeks. Fundamentally I’m ok with the reasoning that my focus will shift to all that my son becomes involved in be a devoted family man that I am already getting a handle on. Yet there is still a piece of me that lingers on if I have accomplished so much already what more is there for me to do?
I know there are still sights to see, things to do and civilians to save but most of my “big” aspirations are accomplished. I feel I’m just going to be adding references to my roll-a-dex of experiences rather than creating a new. Though I did say “most” of my aspirations so I’m not completely done, just curious what will come about and on my final year of my thirties if it will resonate much my twenties has.